I dunno about you but I get music-induced déjà vu (a term I like to think I’ve coined) all the time. It happens when your brain connects music to significant life experiences and you get a quick creepy feeling that reminds you of times that were. My oldest example of this oddity occurs whenever I hear Creep by TLC. I re-live the memory of being 8 years old and crawling around the house with my friend Pamela, giggling like the schoolgirls we were, because that was the only meaning of the word ‘creep’ that we understood. We had no idea that it meant someone was trying to make a baby with someone else.
So anywho, I already get flashbacks about the first half of this year when I hear particular tunes. I still buy CD’s because I can’t connect with a downloaded album the way that I can with a physical CD, which might have real interesting packaging and wicked album art and hopefully lyrics and will most likely be heard via a standalone CD player located in my bedroom. That’s not to say KickAss Torrents isn’t my best friend… because it is. So with this in mind, I’m going to connect the events of this very meh year with the beats that I’ve been buying and/or downloading and at the same time, jump on the End-Of-Year Listicle bandwagon… but beware, because there will be no attempt made to review the actual music.. it simply isn’t my forte.
To set the scene for the year to come, December 2012 was the start of some new shit. They reckon it takes you half the length of the courtship to get over it, however I was optimistic that this nonsensical rule of thumb would not extend to me (2015? Pffff). Despite my cockiness, I was in and out of emo mode. How fucking fitting is it that at the start of December 2012, I was obsessed with Lana Del Rey’s Paradise edition of Born to Die? It’s funny that a lyric like ‘My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola’ reminds me of breaking up with a dude. I wound up 2012 with Kendrick Lamar: Good Kid M.A.A.D City on repeat. Warming up to my new found romantic solitude, I adopted a steady diet of hip hop and Semillon Sauvignon. A very specific ad was chucked on Gumtree and within two weeks I was shacked up with two random FIFO dudes and a 21 year old kiwi chick (who turned out to be aiight). A couple of those awkward meet and greets were made easier with the velvety voice of K Dot in the background.
January 2013 saw me adjusting to this weird new sharehouse sitch, while the new roomies got adjusted to the sound of A$AP Rocky: Long Live A$AP emanating from my bedroom. That album reminds me of going to Ambar & Tigerlils on the reg and coming home in the daylight hoping to dodge the new dudes in my house and sleeping all of Sunday and just generally being a bad bitch.
i love bad bitches that’s my f*ckin problem
The days of February were spent listening to Frank Ocean: Channel Orange (a 2012 release) and dreading my impending 27th birthday with every fibre of my being. I disliked the idea of this new, defining number and was convinced that it sounded way older than any other 20-something. And after having lived 10 months of being 27, I can confirm that people say ‘Oh shit, you’re old’ to me way more than they did last year. Anyway, whatever, age is just a reminder, and without makeup on I look like a 15 year old boy, so…. who cares. I’ve got two months to go but perhaps there’s still a chance of being inducted into the 27-club, seeing as I am COOL AS FUCK :D
March saw me hunting for two new dude roomies, which was a stressful exercise to say the least. I was getting so desperate, I opened up my Gumtree ad to include (god forbid) non-FIFO dudes. Australia’s answer to Craigslist produced nothing but creepsacks… including a big burly dude that rocked up barefoot and asked if he could keep a family of frogs in his room, as well as a super keen young tradie dude who had ‘seen me round’ at Ambar. Neither of these options were ideal, so luckily we found two semi decent FIFO lads who were [supposed to be] only around on a 4/1 and 2/1 basis. Amongst all of this, I quit my 3-year-old job to pursue an ad career (still a wip, fyi) and hightailed to Melbourne for a wee break, with Flume on heavy rotation.
BOOM! It’s April, aka Unemployment: Stage One. Around 3 or 4 weeks of stress-free inactivity should’ve been all good, given my hefty holiday payout, so I embraced the lack of responsibility and lived like it was Friday errrday. The girls I crashed with in Melbs had cranked Retrograde a bit, so chucking on the freshly squeezed James Blake: Overgrown CD felt like my holiday was merely extended to coincide with its release.
So along came May & my funds began to dry up. I pissfarted around for a bit longer then eventually took a job slinging ad space. No CD’s were purchased because turns out my calculations were wildly inaccurate, but I was making the most of my broadband allowance, feeding the household with a generous serving of hip hop including the likes of this and this and this and this – all of which, for me, symbolize cold calling.
On paper, June was spent studying & working… but it was mostly just about the weekend. Major Lazer: Free The Universe was without a doubt the soundtrack of Winter 2013 and probably our households’ consensus on Album of the Year (personally… not sure yet). Whenever Bubble Butt plays, I instantly return to that time I silently judged one of my female acquaintances, as she got her solitary groove on at a house party, surrounded by kiwi cock.
turn around put your bum in the chilly bin
July was much like June, except one of the dudes moved out & we acquired a second female roomie in the shape of one of our bestest drinking buddies. She had an appetite for hip hop just as big as mine, so we sipped our spritzers listening to Kanye West: Yeezus and Jay Z: Magna Carta Holy Grail interchangeably. Yeezus is good but it would be my least favourite Kanye album – College Dropout & My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy are my faves, and the latter is purely for the Chris Rock skit in Blame Game.
August was basically a carbon copy of April. ‘Watevz, I’m 27 & I might not have long to go’, I thought to myself, as I yolo’d my way right through to September. It’s probably too early to say what music my brain will connect with August onwards, but I predict that Ryan Hemsworth and Kaytranada will remind me of these times, since their gig at Bakery in August was probably the pinnacle of this yolo period.
October was a pretty rad month in which Drake: Nothing Was The Same and Big Sean: Hall Of Fame both got a workout and everything was going swell work-wise, study-wise and life-wise. Then November was all like; ‘lol, hold up’. The eleventh month was shithouse so the old favourites (Funeral & Neon Bible by Arcade Fire, Foals: Antidotes and Brand New: Deja Entendu) got revisited. I’ve listened to Deja Entendu dozens of times in the last 9 years and probably about a dozen times in November 2013 alone. It’s a sad album that makes me feel good however I am still quite tender about November and no longer wish to talk about it.
I’m an old abandoned church with broken pews and empty aisles
And now here we are in December & as it always does, shit got better. Who knows what fresh beats will eventually remind me of these very moments, but I have a sneaking suspicion it will include both Arctic Monkeys: AM and Childish Gambino: Because the Internet, since me & Triple J are both making it a point to thrash them. The Beyonce album may also make a psychological appearance in months/years to come, since parts of it are actually pretty rad (surprised to have said that).
To conclude; thank fuck this year is over but the beats were pretty fresh.
Cupcakes & Lollipops,